Do “it” Scared with Amber Croom
EP 010: Amber Croom
Pastry Chef , Owner of And 4 Dessert and Co-owner of Beye Beignets
In this episode, we will delve into the world of Chef Amber Croom, the talented Pastry Chef and Owner of And 4 Dessert. Get ready to discover the person behind the delicious creations as we explore her journey and inspirations. We will also take a behind-the-scenes look at what it's like to run a successful business, discover valuable insights on how to identify and seize opportunities, build confidence, and cultivate a strong support network. We discuss the significance of recognizing our own achievements, no matter how small, and the role of social media in promoting and growing a business. Together, we encourage you to dream big in your own endeavors. Get ready to be inspired and empowered as we embark on this enlightening journey with Chef Amber Croom and And 4 Dessert.
EPISODE OUTLINE
[00:00:00] What to expect this episode[00:03:00] Getting to know Chef Amber
[00:013:45] Getting to know And 4 Dessert; the behind the scenes of having a business
[00:15:25] Support the show/Chefs Cause of Choice
[00:16:30] How to choose opportunities/Building confidence
[00:22:10] How to find support and resources
[00:29:43] Learning to give ourselves credit; Start small
[00:32:50] Social media and business
[00:38:15] Partnership with Bookshop.org
[00:38:46] Defining success; Dreaming big
[00:46:41] Closing
RESOURCES
How to Find Us:
How to Support the Show:
Explore our bookshelf on Bookshop.org
TRANSCRIPT
Music fades in…
[00:00:00] Amber: If you take anything away from this podcast and this conversation, it's okay to be scared and it's okay to have doubts and fear when you're starting something new and you're starting your own business because it's you, you know, and people will critique it and they will either love it or hate it. Do it anyway. You never know what's gonna happen.
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[00:00:21] Aubrey: Welcome to another episode of the Golden Approach Podcast. If you've listened before, thank you so much. It means the world to have you back. And if you're new here, I'm really excited to welcome you. I have no doubt you'll find some helpful little nuggets here, but first let me give you some super brief context about myself and the show.I'm Aubrey. I've spent the majority of my career as a pastry chef in elite companies with lots of stars and diamonds and James Beard nods, wins, and so forth. And while I love all things food and beverage, what really ties it together for me is hospitality, the art of caring for [00:01:00] others. Having been raised in three religions and among countless cultures, combined with the opportunity to travel for work, I'm really grateful to have been exposed to so many perspectives this world has to offer. On this show, I'm excited to share all I've come to learn and introduce you to other talented and insightful professionals, F& B or not, who are passionate about making the world a better place. I have full confidence that together we can implement the same skills of strategy and emotional intelligence mastered in these posh hotels and fancy restaurants to cultivate growth and meaningful connections as individuals, communities and in any form of workplace. So without further ado, let's get to the good stuff.
Music fades out…
Aubrey: I am so excited to introduce today's guest, Amber Croom. There's a quote I like that goes, What you are seeking is seeking you. And I felt that in my soul with this episode. For too long, I wasn't taking this business and show seriously because I was letting my fear drive the train. Sometimes [00:02:00] I didn't believe I deserved to have a voice or a platform. A lot of times I let my people pleasing perfectionism take over and so forth. But while putting this episode together, Amber reminded me regularly in so many ways That I can't let the noise distract from what's really in front of me. And that if I just put one foot in front of the other, I'll find my way to where I'm supposed to be. I met Amber back in 2017 when we were on the opening team for the Sagamore Pendry Hotel here in Baltimore. She had just moved here after working on all these swanky cruise lines and I count my blessings every day to know her. Not only is she a kind and genuine human, but she definitely knows her stuff as a chef. And now as a business owner herself, she is learning how to combine these superpowers to build the life she always wanted. She was kind enough to tell me all about the lessons she learned in those early years, what went well, and what she wouldn't do again if she had the chance to do it over. So I'm not going to drag this out anymore. I proudly introduce you to Amber Croom, pastry chef and owner of And 4 Dessert.
[00:03:00] Aubrey: Chef, welcome to the show. Or should I just call you Amber?
[00:03:04] Amber: You can 100 percent just call me Amber. It's bet.
[00:03:07] Aubrey: All right, Amber, thank you so much for being on the show. I know it sounds cheesy, but I'm so grateful. Let's start at the beginning. Can you just tell me about your story?
[00:03:16] Amber: What is my story? So I am, um, the product of a single mother, have several brothers and sisters. And I'm originally from Birmingham, Alabama. So like the deep and dirty, dirty South. we grew up in this area called Tiddisville. it's in Birmingham and it's like just a city within a city. Like how you just have different parts. Like we're in Baltimore and you have, you know, Mount Vernon and Fells Point and all that. So Tiddisville is like one of those. But um, it's what you would call, And I really hate this term, but the hood, so to speak, and a lot of the opportunities that I have had living in that neighborhood, you would not think [00:04:00] that I would have had them. My mom was somebody who wanted to get us ready for the world. So she did all the things that she could. She put me in sleepaway camp where I'm literally the only black girl. I'm there like riding horses and stuff and put me on swim team and sent me to private school and she would take me on her work trips where I'm 10 years old and I got to try escargot for the first time and then coming back to the neighborhood that I come, you know, I come from you just you just wouldn't You wouldn't expect that but my mom she really was trying to prepare me for what was out there that we were not just subjugated to the environment that we were currently in. And so having those experiences is one of the reasons I am the way I am today because it helped me to dream beyond my current circumstances in life. and so I keep that with me [00:05:00] like always in like everything that I'm doing, knowing that no matter what something looks like, there's always something greater. There's always something different. There's always something to try and be open to, you know, and I've used that just about in every facet, of my life.
[00:05:16] Aubrey: And is this what inspired you to go like into the pastry world or how did this guide you as an adult?
[00:05:22] Amber: So I ended up going to private school and high school in Birmingham. And once graduating, I moved to New Orleans and I went to the university of New Orleans where I majored in que the long sentence, naval architecture and marine engineering.
[00:05:37] Aubrey: Honestly, I loved learning this about you when I met you because like, I feel like I instantly knew you so much better.
[00:05:44] Amber: Now, mind you had no idea that this even existed, even, I've always loved ships, always loved boats, um, my mom taking us on trips and, you know, I would just be drawn to the water and these really big, beautiful vessels. But I had no idea that this was a [00:06:00] career that you could actually have to create these objects. I just knew that, I didn't want to stay in Birmingham. I didn't want to stay in Alabama and go to school. And they offered me a scholarship if I majored in this particular field that had like 2 percent black people, so in my mind, I'm like, all right, bet. I'm gonna make some money. Okay. I'm going to build pleasure crafts in Italy. You know what I mean? Like, yes, yes. I'm going to move to new Orleans and I'm going to major in this thing. I'm going to take all of the advantage that being a black woman in this 1 percent environment is going to give me. This is it. This is the, this is the journey. Um, it wasn't. And life hits you. and situations hit you. And, uh, Hurricane Katrina was the situation that hit me.
[00:06:48] Aubrey: Are you willing to speak to that experience
[00:06:52] Amber: it's so hard because I you know how you kind of want to get past things But those are the things that make you who you are and they've kind of shaped you [00:07:00] So as much as I want to be over talking about it I have to talk about it, like no one has heard this story before, but I wasn't one of the people that evacuated, from Katrina. So I was there during the entire ordeal for five days, without communication to my family, whether they knew we were alive or not, not knowing if we were going to make it out. You know, we saw a lot of death, a lot of carnage, a lot of sorrow, just a lot of things that you, living in the United States of America modern day should not have happened and should not have been any of our story. Um, but it was and to be in this environment and being called a refugee in your own country. That, that kind of thing just changes you. It is just, I, I, and I, it's very hard I think for me to even go back and like look at the footage from it. you think that this happened somewhere else. Like you look at the pictures and [00:08:00] you hear the stories and you're like, nah, this couldn't be modern America. Or it really couldn't be in 2000 that this happened, you know, but it was this catastrophic event changed the course of so many people's, lives.
[00:08:14] Aubrey: Yeah, um, some of the things you've shown me, it's just, it's very humbling for someone who didn't live through it.
[00:08:20] Amber: And once we actually got evacuated and I made it back to my family, I didn't want to go back. I didn't want to go back to our house that we, me and my roommate, my friend Jan had literally just moved into. You know what I mean? You know how you're coming out of the dorms and you got your first place. We hadn't even put a furniture in it yet. The semester was getting ready to start and then boom, like it just, it, it happened and literally the levees broke and started to flood our entire apartment. and we were on the second floor and it's crazy because everybody's like, okay, well, why didn't you just, you know, evacuate? Why didn't you just leave? And I tell people, It could have, it could have been [00:09:00] that simple, but two, either two or three weeks, I don't remember the timeframe. We had just had a hurricane scare before Hurricane Katrina happened. And we evacuated to Houston and this four hour drive, a four hour drive took 16 hours. Right from New Orleans to Houston when we were evacuating and come to find out nothing happened. There was no rain There was no nothing like no storm hit New Orleans So the fact that we had done all this spent all this money and nothing happened we didn't, sadly, we didn't take it as serious as we should have. And, and in actuality, the storm wasn't that bad for us. The storm, it annihilated Mississippi, but it did not New Orleans. The thing that got us was the levees broke. That wasn't the storm itself. That was bad infrastructure. That, and that's a whole ‘nother topic, but that is what changed the course of, course of everything, and I didn't want to go back. I didn't, [00:10:00] I couldn't see myself being back there. And I felt like I was pretty just wayward for like a year and a half. You know, staying with my mom, my family in, in Birmingham.
[00:10:10] Aubrey: You lived through this pretty traumatic experience So how did you decide what to do next?
[00:10:17] Amber: I actually went on a cruise with a couple of my friends and I loved it. And I was like, I'm gonna work on a cruise ship. And they're like, well, what are you going to do? It's like, I don't know. Like, I'm just grasping at this point. Cause I'm like, I felt freedom. I felt like that natural progression. Like it just, I was like, I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna do that. And it's like, what are you going to do? And I don't know. Maybe I'll be a server. It's like, you can't be no server. Like I can't be no server. Like I can't, but that, that thought was there. And then I remember being at church with one of my friends and we were down in the basement, just kind of shooting the breeze, just talking and trying to figure things out. And she was in culinary school and I've always loved baking. my mom is an amazing cook and amazing baker and that kind of thing is kind of like instilled in me anyway. And I was like, yo, wouldn't it be dope if we had like our [00:11:00] own spot? Like you did savory and I did sweet. And we just had a spot where you just have really bomb appetizers and you have really bomb ass desserts and drinks. And that'd be the spot. And we was like, yeah, we're going to call it the Niamber group. Her name was Nia. My name is Amber. We were gonna call it the Niamber group. I was like, all right, cool. I said, but if we, if I just did desserts, like what would I, what would I call it? And I was like, you know how, when the server comes up to you and it be like, and for dessert you have blah, blah, blah, blah. I was like, wait, she's like, that's it. I was like, what? She's like, and for dessert dot, dot, dot. I was like, and for, oh shit. That's it. and it was super, super, super organic. And that's kind of where the concept itself was born that wouldn't come to pass. What was this, 2006, 2007? Wouldn't come to pass until 2019. So that like that seed right there.
[00:11:48] Aubrey: Okay, say more. Uh, you say it was organic, your, you know, your friend was in culinary school, your mom is obviously a major influence. I totally see how you ended up working with food, but why specifically And 4 [00:12:00] Dessert as this like super glamorous, very couture kind of brand? Was this because of like the exposure you had as a kid, or was there some other reason that made you choose this specific type of business to create?
[00:12:12] Amber: There's a beauty in baking that I find is therapeutic than it is with savory. Um, and also I love sweets I've always loved sweets and the fact that It'd be like the last course of a meal. And to me, that's a make or break thing. And I love, I love that aspect of having this thing come to your table and you're just like, what is that? You know, it's too beautiful to eat. And then when you eat it, you do a little dance in your chair and it's good and it tastes great. I mean, take, take the cocoa bean for instance, look at what it has to go through just to be chocolate. You know what I mean? Like it's when you're looking at that aspect of the things that we create and how we create them, we're literally taking flour, sugar, butter, and you could create so many things from that combination in itself and that's art and it's [00:13:00] beautiful and then it really just makes people happy and I've loved I've always loved to really really make people happy and pastries do that. And then, you know, the other aspect is I've always loved things that are shiny. Like you, you talk about the couture, the glamour of it all. I love things that like glitter, glisten. I'm not trying to pull it back from the gold a lot. And I really do. I just love it so much. Like just, I love to make things really, really pretty. And, You get to do that in pastry. We get to be artists.
[00:13:30] Aubrey: I think that's why I love desserts too. Or getting to do pastries. Because it is. It's, it's an art. It's an art and a science coming together in this very magical way. And you just get to blow people's minds. and It, it really shows in your work.
[00:13:44] Amber: Thank you. I love you so much.
[00:13:45] Aubrey: I love you too. So, there's two sides to everything, right? Tell me more about the not as pretty and fun side of things. With the behind the scenes drama that just, like, is Back of House in all its glory, tell us, especially [00:14:00] now that you're the business owner?
[00:14:02] Amber: All of its glory. Yeah, so the behind the scenes is a beautiful chaotic nightmare sometimes.
[00:14:10] Aubrey: Huh, that's a nice way to put it.
[00:14:12] Amber: Um, I think so because you have those moments It's different because when you are working for somebody else you're spending their money You know what I mean? Like, you can buy these, $190 bags of Valrhona chocolate and you think nothing about it. but when you are your own owner, you have to consider every single penny every dollar every like it it can sometimes zap your creativity Because you're not just worried about creating you're worried about sustaining surviving and growing so you have that beauty and you can create what you want. But then you have that flip side of ‘Do I need to create what I want because it's gonna put food on my table?’ you know It's just gonna bring [00:15:00] me back repeat clients, is this gonna get me to the next level is this gonna make me successful like you have to think about a lot of different things, but the beauty in it is it's you and whether you sink or you become a success That's on you. And, and that's a great thing. It's a scary thing, but you don't have to worry about someone telling you what you can and cannot do.
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[00:15:25] Aubrey: Hi there! Maybe you've noticed, there's no commercials on this show. And that's because we don't currently have any sponsors. And while I do hope, someday in the future, that that will happen, currently, this is totally funded by yours truly. So. If you like the show and would like to help me make sure it continues to exist and grow, I just wanted to let you know that you can support the show directly by checking out our merch on our website, www.goldenapproachpodcast.com. And in case you didn't know, every person we interview gets to choose a cause of choice. We then [00:16:00] make them a custom episode, merch piece, and we donate $8 of every shirt and $7 of every tote to that cause. It's vital we do what we ask of others, and we take action to build the world we believe in from the start. So each piece of merch sold could support up to three businesses at once. And I would say that's working smarter, not harder, am I right? So after listening, head to the show notes where we'll have the website page linked. Thank you so, so much because I literally couldn't do this without you.
Music fades out…
[00:16:30] Aubrey: What do you think about when you're choosing opportunities? How do you set yourself up to be available? And how do, are you, How are you building the confidence to put yourself out there?
[00:16:42] Amber: I think one of the first things you have to do is you have to create a roadmap, because it's easy to take every single opportunity. I am very guilty of that in the beginning stages of starting and for dessert. just taking opportunities that are gonna generate money and may not necessarily be, [00:17:00] Indicative to who I am and who I'm trying to be and the brand I am because I'm worried about money So having a roadmap and saying okay, ‘Well, this is the company that I want to create, right?’ These are the things that I want to do under this umbrella and then when you get these opportunities; you have to gauge against that. Is me doing the Food Network gonna allow me to be at the World Pastry Cup, you know what I mean?
[00:17:26] Aubrey: I feel this so much after going on Food Network myself. while I'm so grateful, I look back on it and I'm like, I did not set myself up for success on this. and it showed. So I find this to be really valuable advice, like personally saying, honor yourself.
[00:17:42] Amber: Especially when you're, you're out on your own, you're so worried about missing opportunities, but every opportunity is not for you. Like at the beginning, I was doing the farmer's markets, right? And the farmer's markets were great for me when I first started, especially during the pandemic. It got me out there. It got me visible. It got my [00:18:00] product out there, But where we're going now, that doesn't work for me because I don't want to just be selling my product outside. You know what I mean? Like you, there are certain things that you want to do that don't survive like that. And then when you want to be couture, people don't need to always be able to find you, you know, you need to create a demand. And you can't really do that if people can get to you every single week,
[00:18:23] Aubrey: So would you recommend to someone, even if they know they want to be more exclusive, do you think it was still the right choice for you to put yourself out there to kind of set the tone, like, Hey, I exist. And then it was okay to pull back and really focus? Or do you wish that you had gone maybe a different route that honored that end goal? a bit more specifically.
[00:18:47] Amber: I think, had we not been in a pandemic going the other route would have been better, but we were in something we'd never been in before. People weren't going out People weren't having events You know, you had to get where the [00:19:00] opportunities were in our industry. We died. A lot of us died. You know what I mean? During this pandemic, a lot of businesses had to shut their doors because they couldn't pivot. And in a, in a different era where we didn't have that, yeah, I wouldn't have, I wouldn't have gone that route. I wouldn't have, but it happened and it worked for me because people, they may not have been going out anywhere, but they were at the farmers markets. Like they, they were there because that was considered a grocery store. So everyone was going to the farmer's market. not just your classic farmer's market group, people that that's, that's how the grocery shop people that normally don't go to farmer's markets we're going there. So we were able to be out in front and get visible to every type of person, not just one singular mindset. So it worked for us in that era, but pre pandemic, I would not have gone that route.
[00:20:00] Aubrey: All right. If you, and let's live in our little dream world for a second. All right. Dream world. Let's pretend COVID wasn't, isn't, still a thing. What do you wish you could have done? Like, what route do you wish you could have taken instead, in a perfect scenario?
[00:20:16] Amber: One, I wish I would have actively sought a mentor, a creative mentor and a business one. I wish that I would have talked to more people that own businesses, not just in the restaurant industry. I would have approached people that have been in business at least 10 to 15 years, any kind of business. Because if you have that kind of longevity. In this day and age, you got some knowledge. you know some things that I definitely do not know. And I think that being in the restaurant industry and being a chef, You know how to create, but do you know how to run a business? You know what I mean? Like, do you really know numbers? Do you know [00:21:00] what things matter? Do you like it? Those are a lot of the things that kind of tripped me up, you know, in the beginning that I'm, I'm just recouping now and finding my footing because I didn't take that time. I just knew I wanted to create, let's put it out there. You know, but you're not thinking about business formation. You're not thinking about taxes. You're not thinking about, all of the certificates and licenses and stuff you need. You're not thinking about, oh, I need a bookkeeper. I need an accountant. You're not, you're not thinking about all these little things. We're even talking about ordering packages for your business. Like there's so many nuances that have nothing to do with creating the perfect pastry that's going to help your company sustain itself. So I would have aligned myself with a lot more business owners and just asked all the hard questions and made a more detailed business plan than, Oh, I'm just going to create, you know, desserts because I love to do it. Boom. Here [00:22:00] we go. you know, there are a lot of details that have to be taken care of if you want to survive, especially now in this new world that we have,
[00:22:10] Aubrey: Okay, on that note, have you found, or, do you have any advice as to how to go about finding these people? Do you, I don't know, just show up at their businesses and you're like, I admire you, hi, I'm an aspiring business owner, please teach me! I don't know, or have you found networking events that have led you to finding the right people, friends, how are you getting there?
[00:22:32] Amber: You know, I have a couple of different avenues on that one. So one, my significant other actually went to school for business.
[00:22:40] Aubrey: Isn't it pretty nice when things just naturally fall into place, right?
[00:22:43] Amber: It is, if I had listened to him, I didn't listen to him when we first started, like he would tell me stuff and, and he, he is 100 percent on it. And, mostly all the stuff that he told me when I did find mentors, they said the exact same thing. So I really, it really hurt his [00:23:00] feelings. And I honestly had to kick myself too, because I had this wealth of knowledge sitting next to me and I didn't use it. So one of my first things would be to open your eyes to who is already around you before you seek out. Looking for you know all this advice you could already have them right there in your pocket It could be your brother sister uncle cousin You know don't discount them just because they're family and don't discount them just because they're friends
[00:23:25] Aubrey: I definitely think that's, like, the hardest circle to look into.
[00:23:28] Amber: Yep, it's a very humbling thing. You have to you have to let your pride Go when you're doing that, that's going to be one of the first things you have to do You have to go into this like a babe and soak up all the knowledge I did find a couple of different mentors.. One is this amazing, amazing woman who has been in the pastry world for a while. She started this group called the Cake Mamas, and she had a business in Cali that she closed. And now she just focuses on [00:24:00] people that are building businesses. So she had this class called passion to profit which I think was one of the best things I could have found Because she helped you from start to finish
[00:24:10] Aubrey: Is it Janelle Copeland who I've seen you post about?
[00:24:13] Amber: it's Janelle Copeland and if you are sensitive, she is not for you. She is not for you. She will easily be like, what the fuck are you doing?
[00:24:26] Aubrey: But we need those people in our lives. Like, it's great if your spouse can provide that for you, but it also comes with its own baggage and possible consequences when they do that. So it's probably a good idea to like, find someone outside your circle.
[00:24:40] Amber: Correct. Or they don't want to see you cry, you know? Um, but Janelle, we be quick, if you ask her a question, like, did you go through module one? Like, did you literally read, did you go through every single module in that, cause your, your answer? Is in that did you do the work, you know, or you'll ask her, um, I had this [00:25:00] wedding show and she had office hours for people that had done, passion to profit gave me like a wealth of information that I use and it really flipped. Um, but she was like, what are you doing? Like, okay, why are you doing that? Well, I'm going to do, well, that doesn't make sense. Like that's going to take up this much time and you're going to lose this much product and you should probably do this. Okay, but well, why are you asking me then? Like you already know that like it's she's the big sister great mentor that you would want Somebody that has been through what you're what you're going through. So I had her in my pocket right to Help me with all things pastry business she is A brilliant mind when it comes to that but you don't have to necessarily be in pastry to be in her group or to Have her as a mentor business wise. She's just great as well Um, I would have that I would have somebody that's not in our industry To kind of help me find the people that I need in my my pocket like a like an accountant Like a [00:26:00] business manager, you know, so they're just strictly on the business side of like financials and having that. So you don't have to just have to have one mentor that does one thing. You know, if you feel like you're not good at picking employees, find an HR person. You know, find a friend that's in HR or just anybody and just pick their brain. don't be afraid to have conversations with people and be open and honest and hear their stories and find out what you can take from those. So you know, there, you have these people in your life. You just have to be willing to ask and then if you go in somebody's business and you see that their business is thriving, go ask him, go talk to him, do it all.
[00:26:43] Aubrey: What's, what's your opinion on finding that right balance of Like, quote, I'm going to invest in this or I can just Google that or read a book on it or go to a networking event. What’s been your approach to separate and find that balance of what to invest into [00:27:00] and where to save your money.
[00:27:01] Amber: Take it all in you know what I mean? Like you don't have to, if you, if you can't afford to have this coach, but there's a wealth of knowledge just out there at your fingertips, go sit in Barnes and Nobles, go to the library. You know what I mean? Like go into these businesses and talk to people, go to the networking events, join the chat rooms. Like if you feel like you are not at that place where you could spend. 2,000 on, a mentor don't like don't.
[00:27:29] Aubrey: I feel like it's so easy as business owners, entrepreneurs, you know, to get caught up in this topic specifically, like. I can't do whatever because I don't have the resources and I can't afford this thing and I don't live in this place and so forth, right? Like all these excuses that we tell ourselves. So knowing what you know now, What would you tell yourself at the beginning if you could? Or what would you tell someone that is on a similar journey?
[00:27:54] Amber: One business wise, know your numbers. Know what [00:28:00] everything costs, know what you're spending, know what you're putting out, bringing in, know those numbers off the top of your head. I think one of the things that kind of stumped me because, you know, when you are in our world, you're not necessarily thinking about that. You're just creating, but it's important to know those numbers because you never know who you're going to run into. That could be some type of angel investor or whatever, and you need to be able to sell your business. So, get in that mirror and practice your spiel. Like, just say it, like, over and over again. If somebody sits here and says, Okay, y'all do podcasts, why? What is this podcast you're doing?
[00:28:39] Aubrey: Dude, that is, Honestly, I think the hardest part of the business, like getting clear with the messaging and the delivery. And I agree. The only way to get better is practice. You have to say it out loud over and over and over. And it's honestly, it's kind of amazing what you learn about yourself and how you hone in on the client you're trying to find. You're better able to envision the [00:29:00] business you want to create. But damn, it's hard. even though it seems like it should be the easiest part.
[00:29:06] Amber: Yeah, that one. And the second one is set time, if not every day, every other day, to just dream. Because a lot of times we get so bogged down with our not being successful and not having something go our way or just, just life in general. Take that time, sit down and like an hour and just dream and just go as big as you can and then make a map for it. I think that's very important for your life. Not just in business where you want to go with your family and your relationships, whatever, just sit there and dream because your next great idea is in that.
[00:29:43] Aubrey: I agree. And I think it's important that when you're taking those, those steps to give yourself some credit, this is totally the pot telling the kettle, but just listening to something like this or a book is a step. It counts. You're doing something. I [00:30:00] don't feel like we give ourselves enough credit for those small steps in general because like they don't feel as impactful in the moment, but together they really add up.
[00:30:09] Amber: That was, that was me. that first year I was definitely, how can I do this? I can't do this. Why I can't do this. Oh, I can't do that. Like I had to just sit down and tell myself, shut up. Like, why are you so you're, you're counting yourself out before it even happens because you want all of these things to happen before you can make that first step or that next step as opposed to just taking a step we will should coulda woulda can't ourselves out of so many opportunities and you just have to find the little nuggets and just start to make the move like if you can't afford that mentor SBA gives out free information Maryland Through all of their issues, they do have a good small business situation put in place where you can go online and you can actually book these seminars that they actually do online. I did that during the pandemic, um, one [00:31:00] guy, I forget his name, but he runs the shared kitchen here. BMore Collective. I think that's what it's called. And he did a class on, I think it was either business loan applications or the catering licenses or something like that. It was, I can't remember. Like I said, I took so many freaking classes, but. He did that and then Jennifer, she actually did the business side and she connected me with a guy that can help me run my financials and then none of that cost me anything, you know, so you don't have to necessarily spend money to find all of this information. You just have to look for it.
[00:31:37] Aubrey: You just have this, uh, mindset that they have to have the carriage, the horse, the driver, and then they get in. Y'all can't see me by raising my hand. Yes, that was me. I'm telling you, that's it. It's like, get the horse and then build the carriage, maybe.
[00:31:51] Amber: that's it Just start. And If you ask what would I have told myself or done differently, that's, don't be afraid to start small. Like you, I [00:32:00] feel like when you get to a certain place in your career, you feel like small is beneath you or you feel like you shouldn't be, you know, so small because you have this wealth of knowledge. But the truth is it's a new venture for you and you don't have the answers. And this isn't like working for another company. This is you working for yourself. as the company And so you may not have all the answers and that has to be okay and you have to be okay asking for help in finding those answers. It's humbling. Also, one of the things that will, cause you to misstep is looking at other people, especially in the day of social media, it will make you feel like you're not doing anything. Like you're not doing enough of anything. I just personally went on a social media fast. Like I had to, I took it off my phone.
[00:32:50] Aubrey: No, I, I agree with this. Anyone who knows me personally knows, I'm hard to get a hold of. I hate, honestly hate, having to be constantly like, turned [00:33:00] on for the world. I like my alone time, but people should really remind themselves that like, it's okay to not be constantly available and attached to their phones or social media.
[00:33:10] Amber: Here's the thing. Canva gives you the ability to schedule your posts. You don't even actually have to put the app up. You can just schedule whatever post you want to go up, you just can't engage unless you actually hire someone or have a friend engage under your account. But I just found myself constantly looking at people's stuff and feeling like I'm not doing enough, you know? And that will get you down too, like you have to focus on what you're doing. And not what other people are doing. You can't look at somebody else's race and compare that to yours. Cause y'all are not running the same race, even though you're in the same industry, y'all not running the same race and that's okay. So one of the things I wouldn't tell myself, and this is something that Janelle said, and it kind of just stuck with me, um, stop [00:34:00] digesting and start creating, just start creating. And that, I'm definitely gonna frame that, like, on my wall. But, you know, it's very easy for us to do that in the world of social media. Now I said our fingertips. You know, you got Twitch, Discord, um, TikTok. Like, it's just so much you have, and you're constantly just eating all this, and you're not, You’re not putting anything out. You're just taking it all in making yourself super fat, but you're not being productive at all, so Unfollow that person like stop looking at those accounts and and just get in whatever lab is your lab Whether it's a kitchen a basketball court a music studio room where you write Get in there and just start creating
[00:34:46] Aubrey: But, when the time comes, because we live in the world we live in, that we have to reconnect, what has worked for you? What are particular platforms you feel you've benefited from or like your business has benefited from?
[00:34:58] Amber: I think um [00:35:00] Oh, that's a hard one because I think my business is Has pretty much been word of mouth. I've gotten a lot of my business from being physically visible the events that I have chosen to do. So, um, I'm obsessed with Flowers and Fancies. It's a flower company in Owings Mills. They create beautiful, beautiful flowers, but I had the opportunity to actually sponsor one of her events. and so I was there, I did the desserts and it was like this beautiful wreath class. And I literally got about seven clients out of that event and who turned into repeat clients who actually just contacted me to make more stuff. So that has been one of the biggest things for me is retention. So having that word of mouth, doing the farmer's markets, doing festivals, that's been what kind of helped me. People won't know you're there if you're not there and anybody that knows now, especially when social media went down the other week [00:36:00] and if that's your platform and you couldn't get in contact with your clients, then you're doing something wrong. Like you have to have other means of marketing and connection outside of social media. So you just need to find events that are on your roadmap, that will help you get to the point that you want to be at and align yourself with it. So that, that is one thing when you are doing business and especially your own studio, bakery, whatever you want to do, you need to know who your clientele is. Right? So I know that my clientele, they shop at Flowers and Fancies. So they're gonna spend that money to get this really, really beautiful bouquet that's gonna die in like a week. So I know that those same people that don't mind spending money on temporary beauty, will spend money on this beautiful temporary pastry that can be gone in like a minute. You know what I mean? Like, you don't see me doing children's cakes. Not cause I don't like them, my clients don't buy them. That's not, [00:37:00] like, who I serve. And if my client did buy that, then it's a vegan, gluten free, and they're gonna spend some money on this particular cake that has these restrictions. Because at And 4 Dessert, you would consider us your own personal pastry chefs. And that's what sets us apart and that's why certain clients do come to me because they know that whatever we create is going to be exactly what they need and it's not going to be generic and it's not going to be something you can just get somewhere else because maybe you do have. Some specific, items that you need checked off your list And you're going to need a specific person that can actually create that for you So the people that come to us, number one, they're the ones who deem their desserts A really great end of their week. or if they have this really amazing event and they just need something that's totally different, they're going to come to us. And I know that aligning myself with [00:38:00] places like flowers and fancies, who buys from them. My clients meet that standard too. So if they're having events that I can show my face at, that I can actually provide some of my products to, then I'm going to do my best to turn those same people into my clients as well.
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[00:38:15] Aubrey: Okay, pardon one more quick selfless plug. We are now affiliate partners of bookshop. org, an organization dedicated to supporting local bookstores and a direct competitor to Amazon, who honestly just doesn't need any more of our money. So please consider checking out our bookshelf through our affiliate link in the show notes to not only support our show, but other small businesses. Trust me, we appreciate it way more than those big guys. Okay, let's dive back in.
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[00:38:46] Aubrey: All right. And I think this is the most challenging question of the day. How do you define success or what do you need to think to yourself? Like, Hey, I made it.
[00:38:58] Amber: Um, for [00:39:00] me, when I can go into a store and not worry about, is this going to break my bank? Is this going to take away from my mortgage or my rent or, you know, me paying the rent at the studio or me buying products. When I can just go and not have to really worry about money. And I don't necessarily mean I'm sitting on a millie. That would be nice and grand and that would be successful as well. But like October, October for me was super busy, right? So, uh, the first weekend in October I was in Delaware for Meals on Wheels doing a private event for them. the next weekend after that, I was in New York filming. The next weekend after that, I was in Charlotte for a food festival. Then the next week I was somewhere else. So success to me is being able to say yes to [00:40:00] events and not worrying about what I'm going to be missing out on, you know, being able to take opportunities and not concerned about what I'm going to be missing. That to me is success. Being able to. Have a family and homeschool my family without having to worry about debt and bills. That is success. Can I do what I want, when I want? That's success for me. And it'll look different depending on what I'm trying to do, but I just want to be in a place where I'm not bogged down and having to sit down and write a detailed plan to figure out how I can do something. That's success for me. That freedom. I mean, that's, that's one reason why one reason why I, decided to just do this myself is because I knew that I didn't have to ask anybody for time off. I didn't have to worry about if I was going to be laid off. If I was going to be fired whatever, rise or [00:41:00] fall, it was going to be on me. And I prefer that over for somebody else's dream. You're doing this for somebody else's dream. And that's fine if that's what you want to do. When I first started, you know, I'm, I'm a big dream boarder. So I create dream boards for everything. But when I, when I initially got in the industry, I put all of the highest heights you could be as a pastry chef. I said I was going to be a corporate pastry chef. I said I was going to win a James beard. I said I was going to be in the world pastry cup. You know what I mean? Like I had this roadmap to get us to all these places and had to realize that none of that is me. That's not me, like that's not, I respect people that do it and I love it and I love to watch it and it's grand, but that I've had to realize is not my journey. There is something else. There is another way for me to go. That's not that. And that has to be okay too. And that goes with, with the pivot. Like when you're trying to be [00:42:00] something you're not, nothing works, or it may work a little. But, you know, are you happy? Are you making progress, carrying somebody else's voice when that's just not, that's not yours? And then when you start to authentically be who you are, not just as a person, but in business, you'd be surprised the doors that open. I look at And I always say her name wrong. I'm so sorry. I love you so much. Um, Paola Velez, but she started Bakers Against Racism, right? So I met her when we were in LA auditioning for a show for Netflix and Paola was great. Like we talked about just now getting shine and being weirdos, like just being super, super quirky and people loving that and people responding to that. And. People do that because they can see that it's you and then some people see themselves in you But if you weren't that then how would they relate? You know [00:43:00] what I mean? Everybody always asks me Well, why did you do TV? I was like, you know what because I didn't see anybody to look like me I didn't see anybody like me for real. So I wanted to Do that to give a young black girl in the hood that maybe looks like me that maybe had my story You can do this too. We are here and it's important to have that representation. But if I wasn't being authentic and being myself and getting out there, then all of it would be for a mute point, you know? Um, so that's, that's definitely. A big takeaway put all of who you are in whatever it is you're doing. People will see the authenticity and you will get opportunities from that.
[00:43:43] Aubrey: Are you comfortable sharing your biggest dream right now?
[00:43:47] Amber: Uh, yes and no. Yes. Let's see. I have several. Um, one of my, I guess, yeah, I'll put it one of my biggest dreams is to have my own show. That and, and I do need to [00:44:00] get over a lot of being known and and it does come with a lot You need a really really tough thick skin when you are putting yourself out there but I think the idea that's there for it is beautiful and it's great and it's fun and it's It makes me happy just thinking about it. So that is A super, super, super big dream of mine. and that's, a really big thing write the vision and just make it plain and put it somewhere you see every day. my board is in our bedroom. So when I wake up every morning, I'm looking on the wall and I'm seeing, okay, well, the decisions I make today, is that going to get me anywhere closer to any of this stuff on this board?
[00:44:39] Aubrey: Now, how do you find kindness with yourself to take that rest though, like to not feel the pressure of I have to be performing towards my goals every second of every day.
[00:44:50] Amber: Um, I don't know, because I feel like I do feel that pressure, but I feel you wouldn't have that vision if it wasn't [00:45:00] attainable, it wouldn't have come to you, you know, being a NFL player and winning the Super Bowl doesn't come to me because that's not my vision. That's not my, that’s not my road. So that isn't going to come to me. But having a show under the guise of what I want to do. It's very much in line with who I am and it's very much in line with what I believe and what I want to do, so I know that that vision is there for a reason. Do I know all the steps to get to it? No. Not always, but I know that there are people that do. So find them. How do you do it? And then just be, be kind and gracious to yourself and know that you will have roadblocks and you will have setbacks, but so what? Keep going. I'm one of my biggest things that I have to tell myself, do it scared. Just do it scared. You're going to be scared anyway. You might as well be making progress while you're doing it. So if you take anything away from this [00:46:00] podcast and this conversation, it's okay to be scared and it's okay to have doubts and fear when you're starting something new and you're starting your own business because it's you, you know, and people will critique it and they will either love it or hate it. Do it anyway. You never know what's gonna happen.
[00:46:18] Aubrey: I couldn't agree more. I don't feel like there's anything more I could say that would top that. So I just want to say thank you. It really means the world to me to have such a good friend and peer willing to do this. So thank you so much.
[00:46:33] Amber: Thank you for having me. I love it. I think what you guys are going to do is amazing. And I can't wait to hear more.
[00:46:39] Aubrey: thanks. You're the best.
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[00:46:41] Amber: I am.
[00:46:42] Aubrey: You are.
[00:46:42] Aubrey: Just another big thank you to Amber for coming on the show, for being so vulnerable and helpful I find this stuff really helpful and relevant, and I really do apply it to my life. If there's anything you have found really helpful and applied to your life, we would love to know that. We'd love to hear it. You can [00:47:00] share through our Instagram @goldenapproachpod, or our website, goldenapproachpodcast.com. So, feel free to get in touch. Also come back in two weeks for another brand new interview episode with Ryan Shaffner, another talented chef here in the Baltimore area. But he's so much more than that because he is also my life partner and my best friend. And I convinced him that it would be interesting to talk about relationships in the industry, because I'm sure it comes as no surprise to you all that people who work in like medicine, EMTs, police officers, food, any kind of like service based industry tend to be leaders in divorce rate numbers. So I thought it would be helpful to share how we've kind of made it work over the last 11 years. Despite having three months stretches with no days off together. but also how we've grown as partners and as friends. So yeah, tune back in two weeks and [00:48:00] if you've liked this episode or any episode before it, please consider supporting the show by leaving a review and giving us a follow wherever you're listening right now. And share with a friend. Thank you so much for your time. We'll talk again soon. Buh bye!
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