Beyond the Event Horizon

[00:00:00] Aubrey: Hi, sunshine. So happy to have you. But before we get into the episode, just a few quick housekeeping notes. Any and all resources I used in this episode have been made available in the show notes or the episode page on the website, goldenapproachpodcast.com. As always, any books used have been added to our bookshelf on bookshop.org, an organization dedicated to keeping small local bookshops alive and thriving. Second, I would love to stay connected. Honestly, I'm not a huge fan of social media, so a few ways we can do that are following wherever you're currently listening, you could check out our Ko-fi community, or subscribe to our email list. Speaking of, I am so excited to be offering what's called episode expansions. I use themes from each episode to create easy, fun, reflective exercises that try to connect those themes to your life and your needs. So if you're not sure if this is for

[00:01:00] Aubrey: you, you can just subscribe to our email list and I'm going to give you episode 212's expansion for free so without further ado, let's get to the good stuff.

Whirlwind of a Week

[00:01:10] Aubrey: Hi, so, in all honesty, this is not the episode I planned to release this week. I tried so hard to get it done, get it the way I wanted it, and it just was not working, and I just kept shaping myself into a sad pretzel. Um, there, there were tears, there were struggles, there were all sorts of things along the way, and so finally I just came to terms that it just wasn't meant to be at this moment. That, like, the universe, or whatever you want to call it, was telling me that this was not the right time, and I do believe timing is important. Timing is everything. But it was also, it was also just sort of me realizing that, like, with everything happening,

[00:02:00] Aubrey: I didn't currently, have the capacity to not only necessarily create that episode to the the level of finish that I wanted it to be at, but more importantly, it was hard to talk about the topic because everything that's happening sort of in the world around me and around us was connected to that episode and everything that's currently happening is um, kind of crazy and spiraling and so it felt hard to pinpoint or to say like this was accurate information or this was worth talking about because it just feels like everything is constantly like changing and evolving and basically I just came to terms that I, I and all of those around me, because based on all the conversations I've talked to people recently, that we are all aboard the struggle bus right now. Winter is supposed to be like this time of rest, and reflection, and recovery

[00:03:00] Aubrey: and none of us are getting any of that currently. And so, I just kept finding myself drained of being able to create, and to be intentional, and to be forward thinking. Because, we are just all on the struggle bus. So instead, I find myself craving a return to basics. A return to bare minimums, if you will. Like, breathing and stretching. Small rituals like making tea and washing my face. And I think that it is more important to just say those words and to put that message out to the world right now than anything else I was trying to do. And I will eventually release that episode, probably sooner rather than later, but it's not the right time. However, as I kind of find myself in these moments of retraction, if you will, I have sort of

[00:04:00] Aubrey: gone back to things that feel familiar and safe because honestly, right now, I don't really feel a lot of familiarity happening in the world. I don't feel a lot of safety happening in the world. My nervous system is, like, completely burned out. Um, I find myself constantly between freeze and flight and dreaming of escapism and where I'm going to go live the rest of my life. And some people are feeling that way. Some people are feeling that freeze mode, they're just like trying to do the bare minimum because we're still required to keep going and live life like it's happening normally, when it's not, and some people find themselves in fight mode. Like, they're fired up, they're ready to go, they're ready to make moves, but a lot of us are in the first two categories. And so when I'm there, personally, I start going back and like rewatching things that feel very nostalgic, that feel very comforting. Um, and one of the

[00:05:00] Aubrey: things that I like to watch is I love a space documentary. I think space is cool and fascinating. so I was recently re-watching an episode of a show I like called How the Universe Works. It's on HBO, Max, whatever you call it, um, if you have any interest in watching it. And they were talking about black holes. So I just thought to share some interesting things about, like, what black holes are and I'm sure anyone listening has heard of a black hole. Uh, if you're a space nerd like me, maybe you already know what a black hole is, but if you do not, here are just some like basic fun facts. So black holes are born out of collapse when a star, uh, reaches its, you know, fullest potential and it ends up collapsing in on itself, and this could result in a couple different things. It could result in supernovas, something else maybe you've heard of, um, but one of the options is a black hole. And so

[00:06:00] Aubrey: this star explodes and then like compacts all the way down into this tight little ball of gravity. And then that tight little ball of gravity floats around space and starts to acquire and absorb things around it. And over time as it goes around and absorbs the power and the density and the gravity of other things, the light of other things throughout the universe it builds its own density and builds its own powers and potential. And black holes are a hard thing because there's still, um, there's still a lot of science left to be proven with how black holes work, and so who knows if in one year, ten years, like how accurate anything I'm saying will be, but thus far, this is our understanding of what they are, and so you get to see that big initial explosion but it can be very difficult to pinpoint the specific like ripple effects that a black hole has on things around it.

[00:07:00] Aubrey: And this is like, once I started hearing this, I was like, oh gosh, this is really how I am feeling. Right? Like we keep seeing some of these like big explosion, these big changes, but the, like the smaller ripple effects can be harder to pinpoint because not everyone is necessarily affected by them or they are, but not in the same way at the same time, and so it can take a while, right, to sort of see how that ripple effect plays out. The other thing that's really important to know is that they have this thing called an event horizon around them. And this is, this is sort of like the gateway into the black hole. Um, if you see pictures or, like, makeups of it, it kind of reminds me of like the, um, the rings around Saturn a little bit. It's not exactly the same, but just to give you some kind of visual, but what's different about it is that, like, it'll go in two ways. It'll be like on the top. axis and then like the side axis as well.

[00:08:00] Aubrey: And so from every direction, it's like pulling in and pulling into this, this gateway into the black hole. And as you get pulled closer and closer into that event horizon, things go faster. You start spinning and it makes it impossible to escape. Not even light can escape a black hole or the event horizon into a black hole. And as you proceed into that, that speed and that gravity, they really just start like breaking you down back into the smallest components. of what you are down to your atoms down to like the the gravitation pull the electromagnetism that's within your body like literally down to the smallest of pieces until eventually it's just like trapped inside the black hole and sometimes that matter as it's pulled in, it like speeds up so fast and causes all this friction, which causes heat, which causes

[00:09:00] Aubrey: more speed. And this, this cycle just happens more and more, right? It feeds off of itself. The spiral gets faster from that speed and then that allows for more friction and that allows for more heat and then that allows for more speed and so forth and so forth until eventually it's just like so rapid that you can't even tell what's happening and can even result in what's called a quasar, which is like one of my favorite words. Just say that. Quasar. Um, and this is basically a deadly ray of radiation that comes out of, um, various things. Like, you can have quasars in a couple different scenarios, not just black holes. But anyway, so it's like a deadly ray of radiation and light and things. Coming out and they vaporize whatever they come in contact with and they go very great distances. And I feel like everything I've said just now feels really true to like what is

[00:10:00] Aubrey: happening in the world, right? Like there have been some big explosions. It is difficult to pinpoint what the ripple effects are all going to be. It can be very difficult when you're in the black hole to see what is happening outside of it or for those outside of the black hole to see what's happening in it. Especially if you're in that in between, that event horizon, where all that friction and speed and pressure are happening against you, that are manipulating you and tweaking you and breaking you down. And then sometimes it uses that against you and it shoots you out into, you know, just open space and uses you as a deadly ray and while we don't fully understand again black holes in their fullest selves I think that it's interesting to look to space or whatever part of the environment to find some kind of grounding

[00:11:00] Aubrey: in reality. Something that feels relatable, something that feels tangible, that can be studied, that can be understood. Because our lizard braids are not really built for what is happening. Our rules are changing so fast and people are doing whatever the fuck they want and we are really at this time of like recycling and rebuilding and that is something that black holes do as well, like, they do have a reputation for being destructive, and for their, you know, such intense power and size, and that they engulf all they come in contact with, but what they really are is like a recycling system for the universe. They have a transitionary purpose in the big picture. They help take the old and break it apart so that new things can be built with it. So that the universe can

The Path Forward

[00:12:00] Aubrey: constantly evolve and change and grow. And this is what leads me to that path forward. You know, I, I am personally finding myself in a bit of a crisis of confidence, if you will. I find myself craving an opportunity to dock the ship and do a lot of reflection and repair. Which is one of the reasons why you're kind of getting this very like raw open episode, yeah, just really feeling a need to go back and pause and reflect. I've been building this business live basically for almost two years now and well, I think, as I've mentioned before there's been a lot of progress there has also been not progress, you know, and not seeing the growth that I had hoped by now and feeling the pressure to just like keep

[00:13:00] Aubrey: going and keep forcing a square peg in a round hole. But that's not how I work. And that's not usually how things are built to last. And so I find myself pulling back and going smaller and smaller and even beyond the podcast, doing that in my life. I find myself not wanting to plan as far out. Right now I am just focused on Q1, right? January, February, and March. As I mentioned back in the beginning, I'm going back to those basics. I am doing bare minimums. I am breathing. I am stretching. I am trying to remind myself that I like my body and I like my mind and I like hanging out with them and I like taking care of them and that they have my best interest at heart when I do take care of them and together we can survive whatever the hell happens. I also find myself wanting to downsize my community. Not wanting to be on social media, not wanting to be on things like Facebook where I'm seeing the lives and opinions

[00:14:00] Aubrey: of every person I have ever met over the last decade, that I just want to be with the people that I genuinely think have my best interest at heart. That have the same intentions of positivity and growth and community building that I want to see more of in the world. Um, and I want to be so clear as to not encourage total cutoffs necessarily. I think there's a lot of black and white decisions being made and in some scenarios those are healthy, right? Like, if the person that you're cutting off makes you feel unsafe, physically, mentally, or emotionally, then, yeah, separate. Do that. If it is just because you have a differentiating opinion, Or because that person annoys you. Then sure, like, set a boundary. And if you don't want to be friends with that person or whatever, then,

[00:15:00] Aubrey: yeah, back off. That's cool. You don't have to be friends with anyone. You don't have to be connected to anyone. No offense, even your own family. But, at the same time, don't just cut off because that's what society is telling us to do to just, like, put up walls. Right? Putting up walls throughout history has not played out well for us. There are so many instances throughout history that we have already, like, lived what we're currently doing. The answers all exist. It's just a matter of being willing to do the self reflection and to Do the work to be in contact with that information and to be able to change our patterns going forward So we don't repeat them right and so for now I'm doing all of that in the small forms, since I've been using a lot of space references right with the black holes, like this is the quantum physics of it, this is like down to the smallest

[00:16:00] Aubrey: little component possible, because the small pieces build to everything else. Everything that happens in a big version has to happen in a small version, otherwise it wouldn't possibly exist. And so that's why nature is such a great resource, because it follows those rules. We can talk about these massive black holes, but what really matters is looking at those small things that are happening under the surface that are harder to pinpoint that are causing all of those effects, that are giving it the power to float around the universe and eat planets like snacks. So how are you going to dock your ship for repair and reflection? how far out can you plan, but still leaves you feeling like you have control over the effects or the consequences? Who can you reach out to that not only makes you feel

[00:17:00] Aubrey: safe, because that is important, but can help you grow and develop those skills or to do those repairs, to, um, feel comfortable doing those reflections with. I think the last important point I want to note about this is being really clear on someone's intentions. What are the intentions of the person you're seeking support from or seeking a relationship from? Maybe you like me, or you don't. Maybe you like my approaches, or you don't. You like how I speak, or you don't. And that's, that's all fine. Honestly, if you don't, you're probably not listening to this right now, but if you are, in a lot of ways, it probably somehow all tracks back to that you trust my intentions, that you trust that even though I'm not perfect, I don't know all the ways to get where I want to go to do the work that I want to do,

Building Connections In Our Environment

[00:18:00] Aubrey: that I genuinely want the best for whoever ends up listening to this. That I genuinely want to build connections and understanding between ourselves and the environments we live in, the environments we've come from with the, like, just rules of nature. The rules of how our brains work. The rules of how our bodies work. And from there, once you understand the rules, then you can start breaking them. Then you can start creating, just like in pastry. I had to understand the basics of the ingredients and how the science is to then break the rules and make whatever the hell I feel like. And now I don't need recipes. I just need techniques. And it took me a minute to unlearn that approach of needing a recipe because that's what you're taught. And that's, you know, the basics, once you experience enough repetition of those

[00:19:00] Aubrey: basics, like I said, then you can start customizing and building new things. Using that amazing human imagination. to bring something into existence that didn't before. But you have to know what someone's intentions are behind that. There are too many people out there today doing that who have poor, selfish intentions, who have small picture intentions, short term intentions. Find people who genuinely have good intentions, long term intentions. Okay, that's going to help you really start to decipher how to proceed forward, and who to proceed forward with, and even just with you, yourself. Me, myself, and I had to have a moment to understand what are our intentions. Not only for you, the listener, or, you know, for this podcast generally, but for me. For me, who I have to hang out with for however long I am here.

[00:20:00] Aubrey: So, yeah, like I said, this is a very just, like, raw, random episode, and I hope any of it's helpful for you. Do with it what you will. And just know that there are gonna be some adjustments that I'm making because of this. I can no longer function as a sad pretzel. I can no longer put square pegs and round holes. I need to take my own advice that I put out on this show, and I do need to take a pause and a breather and to rest and to reflect. And we'll still be recording episodes, we'll still be releasing episodes, but they're going to be at a different pace. They're going to be at a more organic pace. Because that's what I need as an individual, but it's also, I think, what the world needs. The world needs to slow down and create less, process more, and really understand, like, what is the right next step. to make?

Staying In Touch

[00:21:00] Aubrey: What's the next right move to make? So I do hope that if you're not already that you'll be on our email list so you can stay in the know as to when new episodes are coming about or so we can stay in touch even when there isn't a new episode because I do plan on continuing to send out the newsletter on a regular basis and would really love to stay in touch with the community that I've built here. but the other small thing, too, if that's, you know, a little deeper than you want to go, is literally just hit follow wherever you're currently listening. And that way, though, it will at least let you know when a new episode pops up. if it's like, you know, two back to back and then we have one a month later, it'll let you know. So you'll never miss out. No matter what, I just, to whoever is listening, I am very, very grateful that you have shared your time and your capacity with me, that you find this to be a place that you want to hang out and be

[00:22:00] Aubrey: together. Because while it can be very overwhelming for me sometimes, thinking that no one is listening, I do this because it is yet another way for me to feel like I can connect with the world, with the people out there to be supported, and to be loved, and to be seen, no matter who they are. And so while we may not always agree with every detail, or idea, or approach, that again, if you're here, it probably means we have similar intentions, and so I just, I really appreciate you, and I'm really grateful to be here, in this moment, on this planet, with you. So, I hope to be back in your, your earbuds soon. I'm not exactly sure, like I said, when that will be. But I do hope that when we come back, you'll still be listening. Because there are some really great interviews that I have lined up. Some really amazing humans that I can't wait to share with you and share their stories. So until then, just breathe, stretch, and drink some water. And I'll see you on the other side. Bye bye.

Music fades in…

[00:23:16] Aubrey: Thank you for listening to the Golden Approach Podcast, which wouldn't be possible without the support of associate producer and content manager Emmalyn with audio technology and support provided by Barn Swallow Audio Company. If you've liked this episode or any episode prior, be sure to follow so you never miss a new release. We greatly appreciate if you helped others find the show also by leaving a review wherever you're currently listening or directly sharing with friends and family. You can find resources, merch, and more in the show notes and website, GoldenApproachPodcast.com, and if you're looking for more content, join our Ko-fi community and follow on Instagram @goldenapproachpod.

[00:24:00] Aubrey: Until next time, Buh-bye.

Music fades out…

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Episode Resources:

How the Universe Works